K is for Key Lime Bars

I don't always like English. It seems to be an adequate lingua franca, and Shakespeare did some pretty impressive things with it, but some days I don't enjoy English. In true American style, it is the only language I speak, so I don't know if there is another language that I would prefer. What I do know is that the rules aren't really rules. For example "I before E except after C and when sounded like A as in neighbor or weigh" is a silly little rhyme that is completely useless when I'm trying to spell feisty - a word that is frequently relevant in my house. I've had more than one argument with a preschool aged feisty redhead about the fact that phone does not start with F and great begins with the same letter as giraffe (and that letter is not J.) Trying to explain what sound a vowel makes is an exercise in futility.

Once, when Christopher was in preschool, I found him sitting at the table in tears. He wasn't quietly sniffling. He was loudly sobbing with all of the intensity of someone who had been deeply emotionally wounded. When I asked him what the problem was, he was able to catch his breath long enough to say "There is an H in my name that doesn't make any sense." Because Math is far more predictable than English, I comforted him by telling him that there are two Hs in his name that don't make sense. (How does one pluralize a letter? Should it be written Hs, H's or perhaps h's. I don't know because English doesn't make any sense.)

This week was Spencer's turn to discover that, despite all of the desserts, he is not yet able to read. The letter sounds he is busy learning are not the building blocks from which he will form words because English is fickle and it doesn't make any sense.

Me: Would you like to make a key lime pie this week?

Spencer: How about a key orange pie?

Me: There's no such thing as a key orange.

Spencer: Can we make corn dogs?

Me: That starts with C.

Spencer: Can we have Cadbury eggs?

Me: That also starts with C

Spencer (in tears): Mom, we made the wrong dessert when it was time for C.

He calmed down long enough to go to the grocery store to get some key limes and animal crackers, but wasn't very interested in cooking much today. We decided to make key lime bars instead of key lime pie, and I think that was a wise decision. I'm not sure I could have kept Spencer's attention long enough for a whole pie recipe. Also, any dessert involving sweetened condensed milk is a pretty safe bet.

The main difference between key limes and other limes is that key limes begin with the letter k and are therefore appropriate for desserts made this week. Other limes begin with the letter L and ought to be saved for desserts that are made next week. -L

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Dragon joined us this week in our baking adventures. Isaac was also full of good quotes.

After adding the cookies to the food processor, asking to turn it on:
"Can I blade it up now?"

Adding butter to the crust:
"Oh! Yes! Butter makes anything taste good!"

Getting ready to put the pan in the oven:
"Let's DO this!"

After taking the pan out of the oven:
"My hands are hot. They are good for warming up my ears"